ma bloggin ground.

Monday, December 18, 2006

// motives/intentions

just typin this entry randomly, somethin more about maself..

many a times, i question about people's motives/intentions whenever they need ma help. im not pin-pointin at anyone/anythin at all right now.

(kindly click on the X situated at the top right hand corner of this window if you're not convinced..)

im just doin this randomly. so usually it goes.. why does so-and-so need ma help?

is it because..
> its an "along-the-way"/coincidental favor?
> i was in a better position to do it?
> he/she dont know how to go about doin it?
> his/her laziness?
> or his/her desires?

then, i went on settin this standard fer maself:
if an intention was never right, stop placin hope in developin it.

hahah. btw.. i decided to take napfa next month. lol. its the rainy season man. how to run 2.4 in such weather!?

yay. i got away from it, temporarily. hehe.

dear xxx,

if you were to read this, pls read it with an open mind. im really voicin out how i feel within..

the more we communicated, the more differences i saw between us. there are many times i've proved ma stand, but you never seem understand. not that you didnt try, but you just cant.

i understand what you're currently goin thru with your struggles in faith, i really do.

but at the same time, you're turnin me into a heartless person that i neva wanted to be.. people didnt understand why i was becomin so unconsiderate and unsympathetic towards you. but no one ever questioned why i was reactin this way, they only saw you as the victim. i felt really awful. i turned cold because givin a person false hopes is the last thing i'd ever wanna do. so pls retreat.

im gettin really uncomfortable and i hope you respect me more as a girl, as your sister-in-christ. and sometimes, things felt at heart shld be just kept within yourself. or if you have to say it out, know the right time to do so.

just remember.. eros love should be mutual. but the agape love is the sacrificial and redeemin love you shld be seekin fer at this point of your life.

yours sincerely,
jasmine

...kazumi. 4:30 PM